you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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