love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
