You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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