Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We have started to decorate penises.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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