We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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