do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I touched a dick in church today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
