We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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