You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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