What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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