it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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