btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
