Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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