Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize