super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
