All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
