just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
