Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How does it feel to date your dad?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
