will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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