i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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