You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
