so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
