winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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