u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
