Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
