he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
