yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
