Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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