Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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