he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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