She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
