im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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