I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
