is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What drink are we having for lunch?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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