You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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