just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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