i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
