Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
