I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
