I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
