is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
