Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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