I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
