ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize