you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
