Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
