I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
