Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
and you fell through a lawn chair
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
