Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize