I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
