My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
MIDGETS
????
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
