i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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