Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
