So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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