I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
please don't ironically join a cult
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