I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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