Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
