Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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