She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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