I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
