We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
