I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just gargled with NyQuil
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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