belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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