You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
