i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
