i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
