it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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