It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
