guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
