Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
